Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
