Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
