I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize