i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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