season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
