I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
