so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
