So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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