Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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