well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
