I'd wear matching sweaters with you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
