my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
