I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
