Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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