I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Two words: nipple clamps
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