I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
