Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
