Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize