i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
