my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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