So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
