I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
