No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
