69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
