they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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