So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
