Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
