It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
