Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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