3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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