Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love you. Go after that dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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