Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize