I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just cropdusted the office
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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