Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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