A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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