We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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