Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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