My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
