Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
