His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
