Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
