just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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