I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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