I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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