i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I yelled at your uterus for you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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