He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
