don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
