there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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