I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
