Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
