my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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