Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
