oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
