The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
