I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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