haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
